By Richard Nichols, Spiritual Reflections

I’m surprised you have the time to read this article, and because I appreciate it, I will try to keep it short. The week before Christmas is certainly a flurry of activity for everyone, and my family is no exception, as the preparations get made and executed. It’s always been a gift to our lives that our families are from the Twin Cities area, so at least we have never had to plan to travel. I have always felt a little sorry for those who do have to pack up and get somewhere else, and then come back, because the weather around here is unpredictable at best, and that would simply add to the stress of an already over-stressed season.

Richard Nichols

Truth is, I always have felt a little guilty about adding to the hubbub, but I simply cannot avoid it completely. And this has nothing to do with expecting people to go to church, which I do. Especially my church members! No slacking!

No, it’s a little more personal than that. My birthday happens to fall six days before Christmas day, and this year is one of the special ones. By the time you read this I’ll be closer to age 60 than I am to 50. Even while I write that, I cringe. And yes, while it is true that I will have the benefit of ordering from the seniors menu at Perkin’s, I’m still not all that excited about the whole thing. Except insofar as I will be at an age which is divisible by five, which does make it easier to remember.

As it happens, every year at this time, I have grown accustomed to the people who want to recognize the celebration of the anniversary of my birth (and quickly, please!), inquiring as to what I might want as a gift. I appreciate those who gamely choose to recognize both days separately, over those who might say things like, "Well, I’ll just get you something extra nice for both" … because all of us December kids know how that works out.

I really find myself wishing for a different kind of birthday or Christmas gift this year, as I probably have enough sweaters and shirts and ties and golf balls to last for some time. I have been thinking about this throughout this Advent season, which happened to begin with a wish that I received, for peace. I’ve thought a number of times how nice it was to receive that wish, and how appropriate to welcome the Prince of Peace with whatever it takes to accomplish that reality. But, I am aware that there seems to be something that is missing from my life, and the lives of those whom I meet, and our dominant culture. It is something that I think might be a necessary condition for peace.

I find myself wishing that people might consider giving not just me, but to everyone, the gift of kindness. We seem to live in a world in which most of our lives are so consumed by the schedules and pressures, and the agendas of those who would place expectations on us, that we simply have forgotten how easy and appreciated it is to be kind to the people we meet. Our entertainment, even our humor, has become unkind; caustic, or sensational. Our social activities, our workplaces, and even our places of worship are full of people who seem to be afraid to be fully human, and who are not willing to take the time that is required to simply say a kind word to someone whom they don’t know.

I’m not writing about generosity, or even sharing our resources, although those are good examples of kindness. I’m speaking of something that is often lost in the metropolitan shuffle … the kind word, the helpful act, the gracious "you first." We seem to be unable to summon up the willingness to make eye contact in world in which we are told every day to be afraid of other people. What if we did something that would make another person feel better about him or herself, and to do so with no expectation of return, or acknowledgement? Except maybe, if the time was right, a smile.

So, this would be what I choose as a gift for this season, and you can make it "extra special" if you don’t want get me two things. Try being kind … to a child, to an older person. Try inviting someone into your life or your place of spiritual growth who perhaps hasn’t been invited or felt invited before. My own congregation just recently did this with the declaration that it now "Open and Affirming" of all people. You can ask me what that means in another venue. Don’t just blow by people with a quick "Hello, we’re glad you’re here (now let’s head to our holiday brunches)." Engage them … make eye contact with them … take a moment to care. In other words, mean it when you say peace, and show that you mean it by being truly kind.

For this "senior" (grrr!) thinks that this element just might be one of the essentials of peace, and receiving it would do much for his arthritic spirit, and perhaps for your own.

 (Rev. Richard Nichols is pastor at New Spirit United Church of Christ and is one of several area pastors who regularly contribute to “Spiritual Reflections.” This column is one of several opinion and commentary pieces appearing in this newspaper.)